Clinton 'Son' Seeks Blue Dress DNA

Danney Williams, 31, finally wants to prove who his big daddy is. Mr. Williams's lifelong quest for his famous father's acknowledgment has leapt right out of the supermarket tabloids—and Joe Klein's novel Primary Colors. With the emergence of yet another Clinton scandal one week before Election Day—this one Bill's now adult love child—the former president should hide all throwable objects from Hillary's legendary rages. Beyond seeing stars (with the tactile, painful memory of a broken White House lamp), the only primary colors Bill anticipates are the bruising kind: black and blue ones from the missus.

Recall, Primary Colors is the tale of a Clinton style southern governor (“Jack Stanton”) who successful run to the presidency is almost derailed by a sexual scandal—specifically an illegitimate multiracial offspring. In real-life are those two characters Bill Clinton and (the remarkably resembling) Danny Williams?

Yet, unfolding events are far more fascinating than Mr. Klein's fiction. Known to Mr. Williams is his mother, Bobbie Ann Williams, an Arkansas prostitute. Tuesday, at a news conference at the National Press Club in Washington DC, Mr. Williams publicly requested some of the presidential goo (yuck!) from Monica Lewinsky via her infamous '90s blue dress. (Providing said genetic material would preclude a long and expensive paternity suit.)

So, once again, Bill and Hill have his and hers scandals to dodge. His is the embarrassment of two unearthed sexual indiscretions strangely merging: the Lewinsky affair (which led to Bill's impeachment) and Mr. Williams's bloodline (more ballast to crooked Hillary's fading presidential prospects). Hers is the reinvigorated Comey FBI probe involving top aide Huma Abedin's 650,000 emails (coupled with her estranged hubby Anthony Weiner's Zipper-gate). It's a wonder any of them have the gall to show their faces in public (let alone seek high elective office).

After Donald Trump's victory on November 8^th, the Clintons could appropriately do the lurid talk show circuit. On Jerry Springer Hillary and Monica could wrestle and pull each other's hair. Then for good measure the Clintons could be featured on Maury ('You are the father'). Lastly, Danney Williams could make a Barbara Streisand “Papa Can You Hear Me?” heartfelt plea for acceptance into the Clinton clan while Dr. Phil arranges an army of therapists to untangle the family dysfunction. 

This endless Clinton soap opera is indeed an epic farce. The tragedy for the American people is that one of them is currently a hair's breadth from the Oval Office. For all their lies and corruption both richly deserve the big house. From behind bars fate would bring everything full circle: the Clintons would get their comeuppance—and authorities could finally collect Bill Clinton's sought after DNA for his long denied 'Danney boy.'

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