The narrative widely disseminated, the so-called “firing” of Rear Admiral David F. Baucom due to his naked, drunken shenanigans at a beachfront south Florida resort, doesn't exactly ring true. So, the sycophantic press calls a donkey wearing horse harnesses a stallion to the rest of us, and moves on. That is exactly what has happened here.
Mr. Baucom, a Navy man used to “fishy” stories, gave a really whopper for truly inexcusable behavior unworthy of any mature adult—let alone a military leader—yet he is still part of the military to this day. To my mind, a reassignment to a desk job in the Pentagon—a different job with full benefits and a pension—isn't Donald Trump's catch phrase of “get out with no second chances.” I think the 93 million unemployed John Q. Publics out there—many who were forcibly separated from their livelihoods and know what a “firing” actually is—would agree with my assessment rather than the tale being spun by the media.
Now, the Federal government is so large and powerful it acts precisely with the same tone-deaf impunity that the Catholic Church did when transferring “troubled” priests to distant parishes. Unfortunately, the bureaucracy's “out of sight, out of mind” isn't going to erase the memories of two female hotel guests who got an eyeful of a two-star admiral's “assets.”
As with Mr. Obama's Secret Service reported last March, less than one month later the ironically titled Rear Admiral Baucom also got into the irresponsible south Florida party-boy mode. Apparently, he was on official business that April, attending a conference with defense contractors, where he got so rip-roaring drunk he ended up in public in only his birthday suit. (Exactly, what are they putting in the water down there that all of these government-types utterly forget themselves?)
In any case, this supposedly “in charge” middle-aged person, the now former director of strategy and policy at the U.S. Transportation Command, got so blitzed he struck his head on a barstool, wet himself, and needed a bellman's assistance to get “strategically transported” to his room.
Hours later, still in a drunken haze, Mr. Baucom inexplicably reemerged from his room “looking for a bathroom” instead of using the one readily at hand. On the other side of his automatically-locking hotel room door. Naked as a jaybird. In dire need of his dress blues or a stitch of clothing of any kind like underoos. In short, anything with a waistband in which to stow a key card. (As Homer Simpson would exclaim: “D'oh!”) This was a pickle, no doubt, for our intrepid admiral.
To make matters worse, this He-Man laughably claimed later in an email to a colleague, per The Post, that he had failed to bring his pajamas on the trip because he was concerned about the heft of his luggage and “Did not want to to pay the extra $25 for a 2nd bag.” A series of bad calls leading to cringe-worthy circumstances spiraling rapidly out of control.
So what else is a 34-year serviceman to do than stumble around the grounds of the pricey $350.00 a night, 5-star Ponte Vedra Inn and Club with his exposed backside to the wind in desperate need of a beach towel? (Or perhaps a washcloth.)
Naturally, the rear admiral states: “I deeply regret my actions caused discredit to the Navy I love.” Then, in true pajama boy fashion (except with PJs obviously forgotten) this professional military man blames his behavior—rapid fire—on a heart medication that left him lightheaded, confused and disoriented. (To borrow the catch phrase “Clueless” actress Alicia Silverstone made famous: “As if!” which means “Yeah, right.”)
Mr. Baucom's personal Obamaesque “teachable moment” has led to a mild reprimand for disorderly conduct, and conduct unbecoming an officer. And his subsequent transfer (not firing as previously explained) to the Pentagon might ultimately be fortuitous: perhaps the world's largest low-rise office building is big enough for this rear end-baring admiral to lose himself in or at least to crawl under. Presumably wearing clothing first, like his uniform, of course.
Twitter: @DavidHunterblog
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