Mining Trash for Squirrelly Journalism

“Don't be rude. No, I'm not going to give you a question. You are fake news!” – President-elect Donald Trump to interrupting upstart CNN's Jim Acosta on January 11, 2017

Oh, the deplorable state of the American press. Was the death knell to progressive reporters signaled by John Kelly's column about mating leopard slugs in his driveway in August of 2015? How about in March of 2016 when he wrote yet another trivial piece on a credit card circular found in his mailbox? Did these non-news renderings tip some karmic scale, accelerating the downfall of this whole disreputable industry? Indeed, one assuming that the above was the bottom of The Washington Post's journalistic barrel would be wrong. It turns out for the MSM that January of 2017 has set a new low.

Not to be outdone by the insipid Mr. Kelly, his colleague Courtland Milloy has literally mined his curbside trash receptacles for “newsworthy” material. With the same annoying persistence as the marauding raccoons he bemoans, he opines about a humane way to be rid of them. (Is using a pellet gun with a “silencer” considered cruel? Has every local government and private wildlife agency been consulted? If only the raccoons had a union or a lobby with which Mr. Milloy could also confer!) Ah, how all pests of the world mindlessly go about their business without a thought to the messes they make—or the nonsensical situations they relate. Thus, it's obvious that this hack has found parity with the furry varmints who have outsmarted him.

With the upcoming inauguration a little over a week away, is there no relevant issue worth focusing on? How about the fact that President-elect Donald Trump will be slightly older than Ronald Reagan when he assumed the presidency? Undoubtedly, the changing of the guard will have a major impact on a city that is already one of the most interesting and influential places in the world. In any case, there are still plenty of legitimate bandits around. For example, Mr. Milloy need only look to Annapolis where disgraced former state delegate William A. Campos (D-Prince George’s) has pleaded guilty to a bribery scheme and long-standing corruption. As nature determines that Mr. Milloy's raccoon bandits run in packs, what of the suspiciously sudden resignation of Michael L. Vaughn (also D-Prince George’s)? Therefore, he need not confuse his trash-can desperadoes with the real, two-legged kind.

These myopic scribblers—content to look to their own doorsteps for “worthy” subjects—waste valuable newspaper space. As a new year's resolution, only stories for the public good—which actually hold readerly interest—should be featured. Given the preponderance of biased media “fake news”—as specified by Mr. Trump regarding CNN—has The Post joined their ranks? Now, that sounds like an ideal topic for a newspaper exposé.

Twitter: @DavidHunterblog

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