Baltimore mom: momma bear not abuser

As a helicopter mom who frets over the risks of her own son playing football, Lonnae O'Neal, of all people, should understand—and appreciate—Toya Graham's righteous effort to rein in her son from the potential dangers of his own actions.  The Mother Graham of Baltimore did not, per Ms. O'Neal's skewed language, "beatdown" her son which implies the intention of abuse, domination and humiliation.  

Though I gather that Ms. O'Neal is not a regular church-goer, her historically rich column neglects to reference Proverbs 13:24 ('Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them') to glean the actual meaning and value of Ms. Graham's "moma bear" behavior.  To clarify, Ms. Graham's slaps were not borne out of repression, fear or violence, but out of a loving desire to literally "wake him up" to poor choices that the boy intuitively knew were wrong.  Why else would her son wear a hoodie and face mask to obscure his identity?

Beyond the standard things that every child needs like a loving family, a home, and a fully belly, every child needs to learn the boundaries of appropriate and safe behavior.  Indeed, that is one of the fundamental responsibilities of being a parent.  In psychological terms, children lack a development called the "internal parent," an invisible mechanism of the psyche that governs a mature adult's actions and ideally curbs his wilder or darker impulses.

Walking in Ms. Graham's shoes, in search of her wayward child among a potentially violent street crowd, this mother's act was wholly appropriate—even instinctual—to "slap some sense into him."  It was because she cares and never about causing pain or doing bodily harm.  This is the confusion that causes the columnist O'Neal her ambivalent stance on the matter.  In any case, the column concludes correctly that Toya Graham should not be demonized for what we can all agree was, in a moment of extreme stress, a very human reaction.

Re. "The Baltimore mom slaps her son for the ages," Lonnae O'Neal's Column, The Washington Post

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Playing football: a boy thing

Lonnae O’Neal’s column about her reservations regarding her 12 year old son’s desire to play football is an insightful character study into the recent phenomenon of the “helicopter parent” syndrome.  What is it today with this overprotective impulse?  Indeed, should all of our “little snowflakes” be covered metaphorically in bubble wrap and kept in the basement for safety until their eighteenth birthday or beyond?  As boys naturally and rightly model their fathers, it is no surprise that a joy of playing football would be passed by osmosis from one generation to the next.  Given the advancement of modern athletic equipment and training techniques as well as medical science, Ms. O’Neal should take great comfort and allow her child to follow his passion.  While keeping the body safe is necessary, the development of character and the expression of youthful exuberance are even more important.  The gridiron is her boy’s chosen playground where I have no doubt her crossed fingers and scrutinizing eyes will be on the sidelines.

http://www.americanthinker.com/author/david_l_hunter/
Re: "Should I let my young son play football," Lonnae O'Neal's column, Washington Post